Paraprosdokians – guest post by jyjchen

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Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous. Winston Churchill loved them.

1. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
9. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, ‘In case of emergency, Notify:’ I put ‘DOCTOR’.
11. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
12. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure..
13. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

14. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
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For a cause…

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Hi Guys,

If you have not yet gotten the news – here it is Movember is here. So by the end of this month too many creepy moustaches will be seen around lunchtime.

Now here is the Step-by-Step guide to join the cause:

Step 1. Become a Mo-Bro and grow your own Mo! OR Become a Mo-Sister and support prostate cancer research! Join here.

Step 2. Spread the word and let other people know.

Step 3. Donate (if this is not possible return to step 2) for the cause here.

160 Days

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Hi blog,

It has been a while since I have been posting on you. I sincerely have to apologise for being so absent and not paying you the deserved respect + attention. I hope, that you can forgive me?

Let me start with filling you in on what has happened since I posted the last time. Some of it might actually explain my absence from you.

Most of the 160 days. Has it really been that long time ago? Well most of those 160 days I spend getting my ear fixed – part of the process involved getting it cut off and sewn back onto my head. Not something I can recommend, unless it is absolute necessary. Well that process took almost 6 months, and I spend most of that time in Denmark.

Going to your ear-doctor (better than Otolaryngologist, which I am not even sure how to pronounce), leaves you plenty of time to do other stuff. So what did I do? I could not be physical active as the ear-doctor told me to stay idle. I think doctors only proscribe idleness when they are not sure how to proceed. Anyways, so I had to occupy my mind somehow and did this by job-hunting + reading/writing. The later, not for you obviously, but for online fora’s trying to break new ground. I attended a few online projects to dream/think up new ways of doing management. Very interesting and I meet some interesting people in the process. I also worked with online marketing for a few small Danish consultancies in Denmark. One of them is still on my list as clients being served by the awesome person I am (see, still humble as ever).

Anyways, when I got my ear stuff sorted out I was left with 3 jobs. One of them being IBM, but I hate dress-codes, so I shoved it! This meant that I hat Barcelona or Cork to go for. Obviously Spain would have seemed the right choice, but it was not paid enough for me to make anything above a decent living. No options for building savings are usually a poor choice. So I went ahead with Cork, which is a nice town and place to live. Though the work environment sucked, I managed to stay 2,5 months – within this time period 4 new hired people left and the week after I left my supervisor resigned. So I guess that kind of gives the picture?

From a previous experience (Infurn-al – Berlin), I learned that life is too short to work in crap environments that does not allow progress or you to change things for the better. So I resigned without having sorted out what to do next. With some work and luck, I landed 3 opportunities again. This time, even better than before. Two sales gigs in Dublin and a HR admin in Prague. I ended up going ahead with one of the sales gigs in Dublin. Partly because the company and work environment is awesome, not to mention the benefits and pay. Partly, because I would be able to develop my sales skills – which I think would be not such a bad idea for the future.

So the current gig is running at LinkedIn. You might be familiar with LinkedIn, but just to sum up it is a professional online platform for people to connect on work/business topics. Very interesting concept indeed and have already given my some great introductions to interesting people in my area.

Day for Failure was also a project I recently worked on. I setup a local workshop for discussions on failure in Dublin, as part of the global Day for Failure on the 13th October. It was quite interesting, and I mainly used the LinkedIn platform to promote this. This turned out to bring along some very interesting people to this workshop and provide some very interesting talks. I will soon post another post on this I think, just to show some of the tools we used and some results.

Well, that is about it? There has been a few adventures in between all this, such as hiking the Wicklow Mountains and enacting some scenes from Hangover III in a weekend out.

I have been very active in the CS community in Cork as well, which was a great experience. My partner in crime (Janet) and me conspired to activate the Cork community. This worked out quite well, and we managed to have weekly meetings with lots of fun and got a lot of new people onto CS.

Well, I will leave you with this update now and get back to learning some languages and finishing up the Day for Failure review.

Finished And Above The Bar

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So, recently I attended my graduation ceremony along with my peers. It was a glorious rainy day in Dublin, where everything left outside more than a few seconds would get soaked! Though the weather was not giving any joy, there where plenty of smiles on all faces while we were lining up, in alphabetical order, for the ceremony of awarding us our degrees. Most of us were collecting a master and a few part-timers their diplomas.

About a week and half before, I was given a heads up for the ceremony. Apparently I did decently on my overall performance. So good, that I got the highest academic performance in my category and was to be awarded a prize for my performance. It goes without saying my parents were beaming with joy when I told them! I, on the other hand, was somewhat detached. I had never been the best before and was strangely unfamiliar with the feeling. I did not tell anyone I was going to get a prize, but waited for the information to be leaked at the graduation ceremony.

Me and the president of GCD

Following that came what I can only describe as a wave of congratulations, for both me and my parents. It was a terrific feeling, but then again I hardly did anything different then I would have done. I was told it was hard work though when recalling the time I did recognise difficult situations, but do not remember them as hard work. If this is due to having passed these barriers, so that I now consider them smaller obstacles than they were, I do not know.

Anyway, after the celebrations in Dublin I got celebrated at home where my story got tipped to a local newspaper. I got a call from a journalist who wanted to bring the story for the local area. Before I knew it, I had given an interview and had made arrangements for a minor photoshoot for the article. After the article had been published, my parents and I got another round of congratulations. However, one person’s commendation in particular caught my attention.

It was my grandmother who besides being proud also mentioned that she thought it was about time with a success story in the news. Asking to the exact context, she explained that she was getting slightly annoyed by how often unhappy or unsuccessful (read gangs, drugs, drinking, theft and violence) youths where mentioned. I know my grandmother is old fashioned and, therefore, tends to exaggerate things from time to time, so the past seems more rosy than it perhaps was. However, it might also just be me who stopped paying attention to these things, which I think is particularly disturbing as a fact.

Now that I had my master, I went on to the road. I hitched from Denmark down to Berlin where I am going to spend an entire weeks time visiting friends I met in Düsseldorf, Paris, Dublin and the city itself. Then I have to make my way to Istanbul where I booked a flight for the 22nd of December to Hamburg, so I can make it back home for Christmas. The 27th I will be flying to Oslo for two nights before going to Dublin to celebrate New Years with more friends. What follows in January is yet to be known, but I am sure I will figure it out soon enough.

Limbus and Good times

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Suki Yaki

I find myself relocated in Denmark as I am writing this. My master is now finished, and everything that remains is the final graduation ceremony which will take place Friday next week in Dublin, Ireland. This will be the end of an era as a student and the beginning of… I do not now what this is the beginning of, but I am curious to find out.

Since the last time, I completed my Viva, which was my oral defence of my thesis. If you are interested, you can find the presentation here. I actually did it in power point as well, because that was the rules in the guidelines told me too! You can this here. I was concerned about using a new software and in particular some software that was so different from standard PP-slides. In the end, it turned out to be a great “gamble” and was even suggested that Prezi would be included in the guidelines for future reference. So in the end I not only got a “well done” for my Viva, but also altered the guidelines for future students. Even though it was a small and probably even insignificant change it still felt great. We should not forget to celebrate the smaller victories in life!

So what now, I asked my self? After celebrating with Suki-Yaki (see the picture), I was left with an interllegtual hunger to saturate. So I filled it up with a short trip to see friends and family in Ulm, Munich and Copenhagen. Along the way, I picked up a few books to read, if you want you can check the out here. Besides that, I have started freelancing part-time, currently I am doing phone interviews at a pretty decent rate per hour. I have also stated sending out applications for certain jobs, mainly related to industries or companies I would like to work within. However, this is only to keep me busy while figuring out where I will travel. Currently I am spending much time looking at the interail map and dreaming of trips to go upon. For the time being it is causing me great annoyance that I will be limited to an amount of trips or amount of time I can travel, if I go inter-railing!

Did you know that the European train-network was originally designed for troop transports during war time? Also, did you know that during WWII Russian soldiers where navigating through the help of train tracks? You can find pretty amazing things to know about trains!

Happy Clayton-day

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Rattling and scuffling in the house of pens while he thinks ‘what fits?’
The model is far away – scope will have to be taken into consideration, but not for the distance.
Volume is tricky as it is expanded and contracted along with the shapes in my mind.
What was the colour again and was it close to transparent – or has it vanished? 
Memory recalls a great and massive frame – like wooden-beams from his home;
at last their is more and smaller deeds and skills – beautiful as the horizon.
yet the appearance scarcely reveals more then the gravedigger – humble.
Like a tale from Aesop he contains an enigma of wisdom or moral to remember.

Dreamed of you…

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Hey,

My dear ones, I have been way to busy trying to achieve and I cannot promise you that I will repend from doing so on the last two weeks, which the mortals call exams!

However I have to confess following. Recently I have meet a friend that made me concerned for another friend, which I fear might be caught in serious flashbacks. I recognize that he might be getting to the point where he sees himself as a fool, but so have I. Still I wish him happy birthday this year and hope another decade will make him somewhat wiser; even though Stout is hard to thicken…

Additionally I had a dream the other night about someone I thought I had lost, but this person returned to me in my previous home to apologize for their behaviour. Soon after that I awoke and went to the bathroom and fell back into my slumbers where once again the person appeared. This time in the place I was breed, once again with attempts to reconcile misdeeds with origin in themselves. It may be coincident that these two dreams collide. However I have been giving thought to this person and my dreams makes me wonder if I am really indifferent on this subject or as it appear not? Is my subconsciousness playing mind games or is there a sad soul looking for redemption?

I do not know and the fact that I have gone so far as to write these words and perhaps even posting them as I am unsure of currently is worthwhile and speaks for themselves.

Loathsome as it may sound I wish you a happy decade and may you lady of fortune shin upon you and bring you happiness. Secondly I fear what I will do with, mostly because if right – then great wrong has be done!

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