It is spring time in Denmark and the season for “Koldskål”. The first Koldskål is like a small coup de grace to the winter and hello sun! The first Koldskål is also a cause to national happiness and energy outbursts, much like that of the Indian Festival of Colours (Holi). In Denmark we do not have time for days painting us with colours, so it becomes rather more intense. Let me explain.

Denmark is probably one of the more peculiar little countries to inhabit the Scandinavian region, though Finland and Iceland make serious efforts to contest that title. Compared to Sweden and Norway we have no show-off mountains to present our visitors nor their wealth and health combo-wammer to smile about. Reviewing our history we can present a few bright moments apart from defeat and giving back seized land. The European Football Championship in 1992 gold medal can be counted as one of the latest moments of glory in Danish history. It goes without saying that suicide rates severely declined during 1992, rape spiked (possible correlation?) and early 1993 midwives across the country where busy delivering victory babies.

So since our history can produce no glorified accounts we can turn into public holidays we seem to have developed a smaller reasons and time spans for public celebrations. These have spread out over the year, with the majority around christmas. My own beliefs for most of these being in Christmas is due to the suicidal tendencies of the Danes during that period, but I will let you make your own judgements on that.

Let me present you with one of these infamous small fits of celebratory ecstasy. The release of the Christmas beer is a 5-minute moment of bliss. The release is usually settled on a Thursday, much to the dismay of every employer since Friday will only bring in useless cadavers of their employees. The release happens cross-country at the synced time of 23.55 (11.55 pm). Just before the release you feel the country hold its breath followed by a roar as everyone exhales. There is a certain bestiality to what follows this 5-minute moment and I can best describe it by drawing on the sagas of my ancestors – The Vikings!

It was said that Danes where some of the most ferocious vikings of their time to do battle against and many would do wisely to have the Danes on their side. The Danes had a love for mushrooms just before battle, if they were completely aware of the side effects they produced has been lost in historical accounts.  What followed was just as mentioned before:

a vacuum of air

a sonic boom of a RoaR

one, ney, two, ney, many

naked men with axes

Now bear in mind this was not a Spencer Tunick Art Installation and the years 800-1000 AD. Now flashback to the current time. Every now and then I seem to come across a newspaper article about a naked axe-wielder running down the streets of Denmark. I usually wonder, like many of my fellow Danes: “This guy is totally crazy of time! The release is the next week!”

So back to the Koldskål. This year we had sun earlier then expected, so confused Danes where gathering supplies for the first koldskål and making a run on the dairy section in the supermarkets. I would expect news about shortages on “Kammerjunker”, which is the sweet biscuit that goes with koldskål, any day now!

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